Saturday, March 16, 2013

Prayers Answered Yes

We have a wonderful God at all times.  At times He chooses to withhold what we think we need to have a better life.  At times he chooses to strengthen us through trials and struggles.  And other times He gives us the desires of our hearts. 

I had my latest blood draw on Wednesday.  By this time I was pretty sure that my number had gone up again.  There was no specific reason since I was feeling fine, just "mom-tired" from all the running around we have been doing.  So yesterday when I got my results, we got a great yes answer from God.  My number went down to 53!  Yes, it's only 5 points, but it was the desire of my heart and what we have all been praying for all month.  This now shows for sure that I have stable disease and this medication is working as a maintenance treatment.

Now God has been gracious again in another way.  The dosage of the PARP inhibitor has been increased.  I am now getting what they consider the best therapeutic dose to get. I've never really heard the word remission or no evidence of disease thrown around, but we know God can do anything with what man uses so I do look at that as a possibility.  The bigger beauty of the higher dose is that it gives me more wiggle room in case I start having problems in my blood counts.  I can go on a lower dose for a while and then they can slowly raise it up again.  This also gives me a better chance of staying on this drug long term.  And since I am tolerating it very well so far, the higher dose shouldn't be a problem.  There is a good chance I will have some nausea issues initially as my body gets used to a higher dose, but I'm confident with God's help that will fade away with time.

I have been reflecting this past week because it's my daughter's last year of being in our big basketball tournament, the Jr. Eagle Classic.  It's hard to believe, still, that my daughter will be in high school in a few short months.  But I've been reflecting more because of where I was last year at this time.  I had to rest for three days just to make sure I could get to the tournament to watch her play, and then it was finding every chance to rest that I could.  I looked at a picture of myself after her team won the championship game.  I was surprised that even though I was extremely happy, I looked sick.  This year, I painted our huge bathroom on Monday, ran around on Tuesday and Wednesday, didn't sleep well on Thursday, and am still not having any problems getting to the tournament, thoroughly enjoying myself, and getting to run around and talk to so many people.  What a difference a year makes in God's plan for us!

As I was talking with a friend yesterday, she reminded me of something I had heard before.  It came from Pastor Jeske at Time of Grace Ministry.  He said, God doesn't have a Plan B!  How true that is! There is a reason it says in Proverbs 19:21

God has had this planned out for me and my family all along.  The bumps and trials along the way are just his way of refining us so we stay close to Him.  His ultimate goal is to get us to Heaven.  He knows the best way to do that. It might not always be easy, but it is the best way.

So now we rejoice in God's great goodness that He has answered our prayers this time with a yes.  We will continue to pray that He uses this instrument of man to ultimately heal me, but at the very least to keep my disease stable.  But even more so we will continue to rely on His plan for us.  His way is the best way!