The Journey Is Long and The Road Is Hard

Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on 

These lyrics from Mountain Of God by Third Day popped into my head today as I was getting ready to blog.  As my family and I continue in my life with cancer, it is easily described as a long journey and a hard road.  

The past month has been more difficult than most.  A hospital stay, three small bowel obstructions, a low fiber diet and learning how to administer Total Parental Nutrition (TPN) have all played into that.  Being more tired, loosing some ability to do things I've done before and relying on services like handicapped parking and home health services are all results of the last month of struggle.  When you throw things in like this to an already long journey, it can seem like the road will never, ever end.  

I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again

I have felt quite a bit lately that I have lost my way.  Long journeys with hard roads can do that to a person.  You wonder if you are going the right way.  You wonder if there was something you should have done or could have done that would have made a difference somewhere, anywhere.  Hope can be lost, darkness can settle in and there just seems no way out.

 
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

Once again I realize that on this journey I have to go through hills and valleys.  It is what God has called me to do.  I will be the first to tell you that I don't always like it and that it is hard.  I don't do it joyfully like I should.  But with each step I am led by an amazing God who is getting me to where I need to be.  Without Him, I am nothing.

 As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me 

So we continue to go down the road that God has led us.  Right now it is hard, and someday it might get easier.  He has given us hope in this journey with a new medication.  Will this one be the one that cures me?  Only He knows the answer to that question.  But I do know that whatever happens on this long journey and hard road, He will keep this promise: