Learning to Move Forward

One step forward, two steps back.  I think that's a phrase so many of us can relate to in life.  We look like we are getting ahead in a project, and then a complication comes and we feel like we got nowhere.  We are getting close to a destination, and then car problems happen.  That project at school or at work is almost done and then a major change comes.  One step forward, two steps back.

A week after finding out that my time on earth looks to be short, I've spent quite a bit of time pondering over many things.  What should I leave behind for my family?  What can I do for my husband so life without me might be a bit easier? 

But the biggest question I've been pondering is this:  How do I move forward?  It's a very surreal thing knowing that you're life is coming to an end.  Do I quick make a bucket list of all the things I've ever wanted to do?  (I've never really had one.)  What is my mood supposed to be -- depressed and downtrodden, happy with anticipation of something better, or a combination of the two?  What am I supposed to do now?

As I was pondering these things again today, a thought hit me about Jesus.  His entire life was leading to one thing, His one purpose, His death.  Anyone who would know that could easily become depressed and try and hide.  Yet He didn't.  He didn't because of His great love for the world.  He did it because of His great love for you and me.  He did it because that's what His Father asked Him to do. 

When you think back to Jesus' life, He kept His focus and He stayed present in the world.  He knew He was going to die, yet He healed people.  He knew He was going to die, yet He kept seeking the lost.  He knew He was going to die, yet He kept preaching the truth.  He kept pressing on toward the end because of His great love.  He was true God, yet He did this:

Now I know how to move forward.  I follow the lead of Jesus.  He was present with the world, with His friends, with His disciples.  I will be present with my family, with my friends, and with the world.  I'm not going to concern myself with a bucket list of the things I wanted to do, because when I am gone none of that will matter to me.  Instead I will focus my time on what I can do for others so that in their sad moments, they can have memories of me that will make them smile, just like I have memories of my mom that make me smile.  And most importantly I will focus my time on continuing to spread the love of Jesus in any way that God shows me I should.

So now I move forward.  I move forward with God's love and guidance.  I move forward with God's promises and protection.  I move forward knowing my Heavenly goal awaits.

Day by day, your mercies, Lord attend me,
Bringing comfort to my anxious soul.
Day by day, the blessings, Lord you send me
Draw me nearer to my heav’nly goal.
Love divine, beyond all moral measure,
Brings to naught the burdens of my quest;
Savior lead me to the home I treasure,
Where, at last, I’ll find eternal rest.

Day by day, I know you will provide me
Strength to serve and wisdom to obey;
I will work your loving will to guide me
O’er the paths I struggle day by day.
I will fear no evil of the morrow;
I will trust in your enduring grace.
Savior, help me bear life’s pain and sorrow;
Till in glory I behold your face.

Oh, what joy to know that you are near me
When my burdens grow too great to bear;
Oh, what joy to know that you will hear me
When I come, O Lord, to you in prayer.
Day by day, no matter what betide me,
You will hold me ever in your hand.
Savior, with your presence here to guide me,
I will reach at last the promised land.