I was looking over my cancer journal today on Carepages and realized how quickly the highs and lows of cancer really come. I went from a low of the diagnosis, to the high of treatment working, to the high of remission, to the low of the cancer being back all in the matter of 10 months. Since then there have been highs and lows between treatments working and not working, feeling great and then getting very sick, plus the normal highs and lows that every family goes through in life. Some might look at my family and me and wonder how we get through it all.
As I was looking through my journal I came across this post on a day that was definitely a low, even though it wasn't a major one. Here's what I wrote:
"Today was a mixed day. I was tired from a car alarm going off at 2:30 in the morning. The owner didn't hear it so it went off for about 1/2 hour. Between that and the storm that blew through, it was a restless night. Nausea is still there. Today I had a hard time eating. I talked to my nurse today and she put me on some different medication that we are hoping helps. If this one doesn't, we do have one more option. Hopefully this will be the trick that takes it away....
I ended up doing quite a bit of driving today -- Bible class, chiropractor appointment and picking up kids from school. I was pretty tired as I was driving and I wondered how I could keep my stamina up. One of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns came on the radio "Praise You In The Storm". Part of the song quotes this Psalm from the Bible:
My family and I don't get through the highs and lows of this journey because of anything we do. It is only because of what God does for us. And when you think about it, none of us get through any of the highs and lows of our lives on our own. God is there watching us always because He never sleeps. He promises He will be with us forever, no matter what gets thrown our way. How appropriate to look to the hills and remember God through our highs and lows. During our lows we can look up and remember we have a God who is taking care of us, and during our highs we can look up and remember that God has directed us and given us that blessing. May you always be able to look at the hills and remember what a loving, caring God you have.
As I drove in the valley and looked up to the hills I could feel God watching over me and making sure I had just enough stamina to get to school and back. Nothing that the world throws at me can take God's protection away. He is watching over me all the time and making sure I get to go home to Heaven one day. What an amazing God we have."